EFFECT OF INCEST ON SURVIVORS[1]

Definition of incest survivor:
A survivor is someone who survived and endured the harsh experiences incest. Incest survivors are victims who endured throughout the incest experiences. The pressure is no longer there again, probably the victim has been seperated from the offender or the offender was caught and prosecuted. Whichever way, the incest has stopped. The victim is now an incest survivor.

    EFFECT OF INCEST ON SURVIVORS:
The effect of incest on survivors here, i mean the effect when the sexual abuse no longer occur again. When the incest has stopped, even after sexual abuse has long been halted. The effect of incest on the victim could last her lifetime, if not helped. The effect could be more devastating in female survivor than their male counterpart. The survivor, even after many years will still feel the effect of the incest. The following are some of the effect of incest on survivors.

Social and sexual withdrawal: In the teens years following sexual abuse, survivors often gravitate toward one of the extreme lifestyles. The survivor becomes socially and sexually withdrawn. The withdrawal response can reflect a survivor's fear about sex, anxieties about partners, and poor self-image. Symptoms of withdrawal include refusing dates, staying  socially isolated, acting as if sex does not exist and denying sexual feelings. In marriage, survivors may have distorted idea about what will be expected of them when they go out with their spouse. They may imagine that dating will require sexual willingness and responsiveness. They believe basically that every  male adult  is only interested in sleeping with her.

Survivors may have little confident in their abilities to say no or to protect themselves and may instead want a situation in which they expect to once again feel overpowered and paralyzed. Please take note, when i wrote dating, i mean relationship that is potentially going to lead to marriage. The essence of a perpetual relationship is to eventually get married.  Stop wasting your energy in fruitless relationships, rather, use that time to develop yourself, realizing the real person that your are. releasing the potentials in you. Spend more time developing yourself physically {Exercising, good hygiene, high self esteem and self image etc.}, mentally {cultivate the habit of reading}, improve  your emotional intelligent {very important} and spiritually {Love your neighbour as yourself}…

Some survivors who withdraw socially and sexually, always have the problem of keeping a successful marriage, because withdrawal can lead to a boring marriage and not all men are emotionally matured enough to handle such situation. Survivors who show  symptoms of withdrawal really need help. If you had been a survivor of any form of sexual abuse, and find yourself withdrawing from the society, your family, your friends, relatives etc. then you need a therapist or any medical proffession that can help you get you get back on track. 

Promiscuity: Some survivor can become promiscuous in nature. They learn from incest that heir sexual attentions can give them a feeling of special power over men. They fail to see how superficial this feeling is and how much it reflects a reaction to the powerlessness they experience earlier in life. Many survivors use sexual promiscuity to prove to themselves that their sexuality is in their own, meaning they are in full control of their promiscuity by choosing to sleep with many partners. The survivor can attempt to give herself a sense of being in control. Indescriminate sexual activity may have other repercussion as well, such as unwanted pregnancies, abortions, venereal disease, loss of respect and exploitation, all of which impact negatively on self-esteem. 

In a situation where the victim had to run away from the place of  sexual abuse due to the overwhelming pressure from the offender {This pressure could include physical abuses also from the offender}. Such survivors who has no one to fall back on, no place to reside, except in the wild. For such, she is almost likely going to use the only asset she owns to survive i.e prostitution.

Lesbianism: Incest, which are such a profoundly upsetting experience, seems to bring with it the possibility of influencing sexual preference in many different ways. Some survivors feel more attracted to same-sex partners because of the influence of incest they experienced while growing up. Some may feel safer and more comfortable with female because the female body lacks many of the reminders of the abuse they experienced, such as the penis, masculinity, semens, deep voice, body hair etc.

I think should stop here for now, i will continue on this same topic in the next article.