Featured post


The importance of prayer cannot be overemphasised in the life of man. Prayer is so important that, our Lord Jesus had to teach us how to ...


INCEST; Signs that indicates a girl is sexually abused

The bodies of younger children are not ready yet, for sexual activities, mentally, they are not ready either. It is more like an unripe organ, undeveloped, unprepared for sexual activities. Their imagination and hallucination, the pain and traumatic stress, which i believe is too much for a child to bear. For older children i.e an adolescent, she might be ripe enough, but the question is, psychologically, is she ready? When it is a dissentaneous incest, then it is a sexual abuse. 

          What are the signs to watch out for in a girl child/adolescent, if you want to know if she is sexually abused?  There are always some behavioural changes in sexually abused children/adolescents you can observe carefully, if you really want to help them, the following are the behavioural changes;  

 FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN {age: 1~10years}:
  1. Bedwetting
  2. Masterbating
  3. unexplained gagging
  4. Loss of appetite
  5. Frequent genital infections 
  6. Withdrawal or isolation
  7. Explicit sexual knowledge
  8. Vicious languages unusual for their age.
  9. Irritability and aggressivenes
  10. Sleeping disturbance e.g nightmares.
  11. eating disorder
  12. etc.
 FOR  OLDER CHILDREN {10~15years}:
  1.  Depression
  2.  Drug abuse
  3.  Excessive alcohol consumption
  4.  Low self esteem
  5.  Withdrawal and isolation from social life
  6.  Aversion to going home (Temporary or permanent runaway.)
  7.  Infections
  8.  Abdominal pain
  9.  Muscle ache
  10.  Self-mutilation e.g injuring self,
  11.  Suicide attempt
  12.  Truancy
  13.  Dizziness
  14.  Gagging
  15.  Severe headache
  16.  Seductive behaviour
  17.  Promiscuity
  18.  Prostitution
  19.  Eating disorder
  20.  Sudden weight loss or gain
  21.  Change in school performance
  22.  Delinquent behaviour
  23.  Excessive masterbating
  24.  etc
          There are more behavioural changes, but these are the common ones you are likely to notice in a sexually abused child. Should you notice one, two or more of  these behavioural changes in a girl child/ adolescent, do not to tag her a bad girl. It is wrong to judge, especially when you do not know the person in quote.

           Do not look down on them. Do not blame, scold or make them feel guilty. That girl might need your in order for her to break free from the torment of sexual abuses she is experiencing. Such child/adolescent needs your help. She is suffering deeply within her. Help! You can be the help thei child/adolesent needs to break free from traumatic stress. It is common for these signs to be completely ignored by other family members. If there is any response, it always consist of blaming and punishing the poor girl for the exhibited behaviour, not knowing that this change in attitude could be symptoms of being sexually abused. And this abuse can go on undetected for a long time. Long suffering for the poor girl.

So, i inbibe mothers to watch out for these signs. In most cases, the children/adolescents do not give consent to the offending adult, rather, some are forced into incest through various means of physical abuse e.g being slapped, drugged, held down etc.  remember, the offender is in most times stronger than his victim. Feeling of hopelessness, fear of responsibility, depression and threats from the offender keeps the victim from disclosing the incest.

              A woman, who was abused from age three to seventeen by her father, step father, brother and uncle gave this account: "I thought i'd be blamed and shamed- I had a crush on my step-father, so i thought i caused it at age five. When i was older, a teen, i thought my mother would have a nervous breakdown or else kill someone or some unknown and horribly shameful catastrophe would happen, we were not emotionally closed. I lived in a fantasy world for survival... I was under extreme stress. I felt suicidal, homocidal and schizophrenic. Barely on the edge of sanity, constantly."

               Incest involving a child is a forceful rape. A rape in which  injuries are opened and re-opened, everytime he penetrates. So, for you to help a sexually abused child/adolescent, the first step is to create some form of acquaintancy between you and the young lady, become her best of friends i.e after you have read the signs already.  When she discover that she can trust you with secrets, she might disclosure to you about the incest. All you need is a tangible evidence from her and then from there, you can help her by taking the appropriate steps in helping her.

               In the next article, i shall be writing on the methods used by offender in luring their victims into incest .