INCEST; Signs that indicates a girl is sexually abused

BEHAVIOUR CHANGE IN AN ABUSED CHILD:
The bodies of younger children are not ready yet, for sexual activities, mentally, they are not ready either. It is more like an unripe organ, undeveloped, unprepared for sexual activities. Their imagination and hallucination, the pain and traumatic stress, which i believe is too much for a child to bear. For older children i.e an adolescent, she might be ripe enough, but the question is, psychologically, is she ready? When it is a dissentaneous incest, then it is a sexual abuse. 

          What are the signs to watch out for in a girl child/adolescent, if you want to know if she is sexually abused?  There are always some behavioural changes in sexually abused children/adolescents you can observe carefully, if you really want to help them, the following are the behavioural changes;  

 FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN {age: 1~10years}:

1. Bedwetting
2. Masterbating
3. unexplained gagging
4. Loss of appetite
5. Frequent genital infections 
6. Withdrawal or isolation
7. Explicit sexual knowledge
8. Vicious languages unusual for their age.
9. Irritability and aggressivenes
10. Sleeping disturbance e.g nightmares.
11. eating disorder
12. etc.

 FOR  OLDER CHILDREN {10~15years}:

1.  Depression
2.  Drug abuse
3.  Excessive alcohol consumption
4.  Low self esteem
5.  Withdrawal and isolation from social life
6.  Aversion to going home (Temporary or permanent runaway.)
7.  Infections
8.  Abdominal pain
9.  Muscle ache
10.  Self-mutilation e.g injuring self,
11.  Suicide attempt
12.  Truancy
13.  Dizziness
14.  Gagging
15.  Severe headache
16.  Seductive behaviour
17.  Promiscuity
18.  Prostitution
19.  Eating disorder
20.  Sudden weight loss or gain
21.  Change in school performance
22.  Delinquent behaviour
23.  Excessive masterbating
24.  etc

          There are more behavioural changes, but these are the common ones you are likely to notice in a sexually abused child. Should you notice one, two or more of  these behavioural changes in a girl child/ adolescent, do not to tag her a bad girl. It is wrong to judge, especially when you do not know the person in quote.

           Do not look down on them. Do not blame, scold or make them feel guilty. That girl might need your in order for her to break free from the torment of sexual abuses she is experiencing. Such child/adolescent needs your help. She is suffering deeply within her. Help! You can be the help thei child/adolesent needs to break free from traumatic stress. It is common for these signs to be completely ignored by other family members. If there is any response, it always consist of blaming and punishing the poor girl for the exhibited behaviour, not knowing that this change in attitude could be symptoms of being sexually abused. And this abuse can go on undetected for a long time. Long suffering for the poor girl.

             

So, i inbibe mothers to watch out for these signs. In most cases, the children/adolescents do not give consent to the offending adult, rather, some are forced into incest through various means of physical abuse e.g being slapped, drugged, held down etc.  remember, the offender is in most times stronger than his victim. Feeling of hopelessness, fear of responsibility, depression and threats from the offender keeps the victim from disclosing the incest.

              A woman, who was abused from age three to seventeen by her father, step father, brother and uncle gave this account: "I thought i'd be blamed and shamed- I had a crush on my step-father, so i thought i caused it at age five. When i was older, a teen, i thought my mother would have a nervous breakdown or else kill someone or some unknown and horribly shameful catastrophe would happen, we were not emotionally closed. I lived in a fantasy world for survival... I was under extreme stress. I felt suicidal, homocidal and schizophrenic. Barely on the edge of sanity, constantly."

               Incest involving a child is a forceful rape. A rape in which  injuries are opened and re-opened, everytime he penetrates. So, for you to help a sexually abused child/adolescent, the first step is to create some form of acquaintancy between you and the young lady, become her best of friends i.e after you have read the signs already.  When she discover that she can trust you with secrets, she might disclosure to you about the incest. All you need is a tangible evidence from her and then from there, you can help her by taking the appropriate steps in helping her.

               In the next article, i shall be writing on the methods used by offender in luring their victims into incest .

INCESTUOUS FAMILIES (2)

Advice to mothers in incestuous families;  My advices to all mothers is to pay extra attention to their children's needs. Most especially their emotional needs. As a mother, there is a need for you to open a channel of communication between you and your children at all time. Stop playing boss with your children. Female children are more liable to become closer to their mothers than their male counterpart. It is the female children mostly affected when abused sexually. Should you discover any incident of incest especially, a Father-daughter incest, at first do not lay any blame on yourself. Get enough facts before confronting him. His reaction to the allegation  leveled  against him will determine your next step.

         If he does not deny the intimacy affair he is having with his step/daughter, and he is ready to get help? Then indeed, he really needs help! Some men will even be glad at being caught, because this can put an end to an addiction that he could not discontinue on his own. 

          Do not be deceived when a pedophile is remorseful and promise not to engage any child in sexual activities again, then he has repented of his actions, NO! It is not a problem he can handle, he needs help, it is an addiction. If left alone, he is likely to continue with the victim, or source for another victim to devour because it is impossible to stop an addiction at once. So, do not sweep the issue under the carpet,  do not let him go without getting help. In Father-daughter incest, the perpetrator, being the father ican be very manipulative and could use another tactics to lure the girl into bed. When the man gets help, he will be able support the girl, in that way, the effect on the girl will be reduced to its minimal. The girl will feel some sense of belonging.
    
        Now, when your husband does not co-operate, threatens you, which is typical of most african husband, then you have to do the needful, i know the situation might be complicated one, but you just have to try and report him. It is likely that your daughter is not the only victim being tormented by him. Remember, it is an addiction he is battling with, do not expect him stop on his own. Pedophiles do not know how to stop, even if he wishes to stop. Unless you force him to stop.

    FATHERS IN INCESTUOUS FAMILIES {OFFENDERS}:
          Fathers or step fathers who sexually abuse their children lead double lives. On the outside, they may appear very normal, you might not be able to distinct them from other fathers. These fathers are member of every religion, race, profession, socioeconomic groups, and varying ages. They could be highly respected in the society, they could be first, second or third class citizens. They could be a very dedicated family men, who are good providers.

           Inwardly, sexually abusive fathers or step fathers are psychologically distressed, emotionally isolated and emotional immatured. Their view about sex and sexuality as a whole are distorted. They lack that ability to control self sexually. If a man can control himself sexually, his daughter or step daughter will be the last person he wants to willingly have sex with. Incestuous fathers are filled with very low self-esteem. These set of fathers may even grew up being molested too, as a child. Some seek to attain a feeling of power by exerting themselves as head of the family in an authoritarian way, other family members may feel intimidated by them.

            They are self-appointed experts on all family mathers. Always successfully isolating the other family members from outsiders. Method of accomplishing this ranges from the delibrate embarrassment of guests who are visiting to direct proscribing of family members from interacting with others.  Frequently, sexually abusive fathers will turn to alcohol, drugs or other form of escape to dodge the pain they feel inside. Incestuous fathers turns to incest in a vain attempt to meet their emotional, as well their sexual needs.

             On disclosure, abusive fathers will almost uniformly deny having any sexual activities with the victim. Now, when he finally admits, after tangible evidence has been present to him, he may nevertheless deny responsibility for the abuse, he might attempt to absolve himself by shifting blames to his spouse. 

              Some offenders sigh a sign of relieve after finally being caught. They may welcome an opportunity to get control over their problem. An offenders willingness to admit his responsibility for the abuse can in itself be a big help to the victim in her recovery.

DAUGHTERS {VICTIMS}:
A child/adolescent who is involved in incest in an incestuous families live in an ongoing state of psychological stress. These set of children are always very sad and helpless. Troubled by the memories of the past abuse, the fear of the future abuse, the fears that accompany the abuses e.g pregnancy and the pressure of keeping the sexual abuses secret. A good observer will notice the psychological stress of the sexual abuse on a child/adolescent displayed with the change in behaviour. You will notice a mood change, each time the offender is around that child/adolescent. In incestuous families, the fathers, step fathers, half brothers are always in the position to be the offender. The victims are always the female children. The offenders are always physically stronger than their victims.

             Children/adolescents victims in incestuous families are likely to have assumed a role as a parentlike figure to other family members, the process known in psychological terms as parentification. Such victims are usually the oldest daughters in the family. The "little mother" of the house may submit to sexual abuses by the offender for various reasons. Firstly, to protect her younger ones from being molested by the same offender. Secondly, sensing the mother's weakness, she is protecting her mother from getting hurt by her father or step father. Some daughters may even think that it is their responsibility when sex is requested of them. Victims of sexual assaults grow up without a sense of protection and security. All children needs love, care, security and trust. The first  people they interact with, when they arrive this world, are their parents. Children/adolescents needs their parent or guidiance to build their inner strength. In incestuous families, for children/adolescents in adult-child/adolescent incest, trust is totally destroyed. As such children grow, they may be handicapped in their ability to establish trusting relationships with others. A father in an incestuous family teaches the daughter victim that it is not safe to trust, not even herself.

             Now, can you imagine a child/adolescent with multiple offenders? such child/adolescent must be going through hell.

              When child/adolescent is neglected by all the the adults in her life, and the only seemingly caring adult around is the offender, taking advantage of her. she might interprete being taken advantage of as love. In this case, the victim might fall inlove with the offender, but it is still wrong no matter which way you are looking at it from. Even after the abuse becomes public, the child/adolescent may defend and continue to idealize the offender. The emotional dependency on the offender may blind the child/adolescent to the harm caused by the abuse.

              Sexually abused children generally, are secretive when it comes to the sexual abuse they are experiencing, because of the fear of being misunderstood, blamed, punished, disgraced. All children view themselves as the centre of all their pre-matured sexual experiences. It is quite difficult for the child to realise that the abuse has very little to do with her, that it is a symptom of a sickness no one discovered in the offender. The abused child needs help, likewise the offender.

                   RELATIVES AS OFFENDERS:
          The child's nearby relative can be her offender also. A relative according to the defination is a person who is in any form related to a particular family. So, a child/adolescent's offender can be a close relative in the person of her uncle, cousin, family friend, grandfather etc The most common of relative incest is a cousin-cousin incest. My concentration here still maintain on the offender-victim incest. The  victims are the weak, helpless female child and the offenders, the strong male molester. 

            In this setting of relative incest, the victims are always living very close with the offender. They could both reside in the same house temporarily, as in the case of a visiting cousin or niece or grand daughter. In most cases, the poor girl  can be lured into sex by blackmail, being over-powered, drugged or use of aphrodisiacs.

            The relative could be the guidiance, the child/adolescent could even depend heavily on the offender for survival, the incest in this case is likely to last longer than any kind of incest because in such situation, little or no attention is always given to the girl child. On disclosure, in an african setting, the victim always suffers the more, probably by the offender's nuclear family e.g the offender's wife, if married. In the real sense, the adults that are suppose to take care of these children/adolescents are the very ones violating them.

             In the case of a family friends as the offender, they always like to befriend the poor girl and create a form of familiarity  between the victims and themselves by buying the victims with gifts. Infact, most relative offenders are child groomers.

             There are many variations in family incest pattern. They often involve families being socially isolated. Family influences may contribute to incest, but the offender's behaviour is the abuse. The offender is the sole person responsoble for the abuse. Most children/adolescent always put the blame on themselves. A violated girl child do not speak out because she is scared of being blamed and does not think anyone will believe her own part if the story. And another problem to her is, who is she going to disclosure the incest to? Because mothers in incestuous families are always weak (emotionally or physically).

INCESTUOUS FAMILIES (1)

INCESTUOUS FAMILIES; Incestuous famiy here, am referring to incestuous nuclear families. Families in which incest occur tends to be close inwardly, such families lack in real emotional connection to people outside  the family. Incestuous families are are not as stable internally as it might be observed from the outside. The parents are always not in good terms when it come to emotional intimacy, even if there is an active sex life between them. Among the other members of such families, the emotional connection is lacking as well. One or both of the parents were usually sexually abused as children. In this article, i will be focusing on the most common family incest i.e Father-daughter incest. Because it involves the violation of a minor. 

In incestuous family settings, the fathers are always the offenders, the mothers, non- offenders, and the daughter, the victim.In Japan, the mother-son incest is quite common, but here in Africa, in Nigeria precisely, father-daughter is more common. So, i am focusing on father-daughter incest. I want use the following sections to analyse the role of a mother, a father and a victim daughter in a typical incestuous family. 

         THE MOTHER {NON-OFFENDING ADULT}:
A typical mother in an incestuous family exhibits some form of weakness capacity. Her work might be taking much of the time she is suppose to spend with her family or she might as well be a lazy full house wife. there is always one form of weakness. She might be chronically ill, depressed, economically dependent and/or socally isolated. She could be the a victim of a sexual abuse herself, when she was a child/adolescent. In most cases, the mothers in an incestuous family are not responsive to their children's needs.

          A Mother might be in a destructive relationship with the father, the marriage may look perfect to outsiders because such family are very secretive.But internally, the marriage is always unsatisfying, limited in communication and lacking in emotional intimacy. Lacking in emotional intimacy with the children too.

          In incestuous family, you will discovered that alot of adult responsibilities are delegated to the female children in that family, most especially, the oldest daughters. Delegation of adult responsibilities to female children could be delibrate or unintentional. Unintentional in the sense that the mother is very sick, divorced, etc. For example, i have come across a family in which the oldest daughter was the one taking care of her younger ones,  did the cooking, serve the father, taking up most of the responsibilities in the house, while the mother sits lazily around doing nothing. And come to think of it, she is barely 13years. The mother in some cases might even depend on the daughter for emotional support. Sadly, the mothers in incestuous normally lack the ability and skills to demonstrate unconditional love. They may be unable to set aside their own responsive neediness in order to respond with empathy to their child's daily experience. 

            Most mother's in an incestuous family are not always aware that sexual abuse was going on in her family. She may have sensed that something was not right without having allowed herself to think that it could be an incest. She may even doubt her own perception of the abuse and thus, may have convinced herself that she was earlier crazy or she is imagining too far in her mind. Often, daughters do not tell their mothers about the sexual abuse going on because they can sense their mother's weakness and might wants to protect her from any further pain and hardship she is going through. Daughters may also fear the loss of the family and take literally, such threats as "It will kill your mom if she finds out about this".

             How do mothers respond to the disclosure of incest involving  her daughter? Here, am referring to incest in a typical nuclear families, the Father-daughter incest. The responsiveness of mothers upon disclosure differs greatly from each other. And also depend on the situation of the mother. In a situation, in which the mother do not depend on the man {father} for basic and necessary needs and is not intimidated by him, then the level of responsiveness is likely to be positive because she can comfortably confront her husband and take  the necessary steps in stopping the sexual abuse. Now, in a situation in which the mother is timid, totally depends on the man,  financially, emotionally and scared of lossing the marriage, then she will be caught in an atmosphere of confusion. 

           Mothers often feel immobilize at the time of disclosure. A woman may fear the disclosure means she must make a choice between her baby girl and her husband. Two people towards whom she feels loved and loyalty. One woman asked "Should i cut off my right arm or my left?". While few women respond to their daughter's disclosure in a supportive manner, many frequently have a very hard time believing that incest has occurred. Some mothers totally disregard the disclosure and forget it was even mentioned.. This amnesia-like response leaves the victim feeling ignored and violated. A woman believing that her husband or partner has abused her girl child or other children not hers can be forced in making choices and take actions. A woman who has already decided to end her relationship {either divorce or temporary seperation} is likely to believe her gir child and take action because she has less to lose. The woman who wants to remain in the relationship or who atleast has mixed feelings- which is the most common response, has the hardest time.

             Now, when a woman fully accept the possibility that incest has occurred between her partner or husband and her lovely girl child/adolescent, alot of thoughts will seems to stream  through her mind. And she will always go through some or all of the following feelings:

• She is angry at her daughter for not revealing the incest sooner and at her husband for doing this to her child and to her.                                                                       
• She feels guilty that she has failed to protect her child and that she fails to satisfy her husband. She thinks it may be her fault that the incest has occurred.                                                                                                                   
• She feel betrayed by her husband, he has been living a lie and a little by her daughter for having kept the relationship a secret.                                                                 

• She hates her husband for the consequences of what he has done. The damage to her child, to her relationship with her own child, to the relationship between herself and her husband.                                               

• She repulsed by him, keeps thinking about him touching and fondling her girl child and trying to get the thoughts out of her mind. How could he do it?                                                                                                             
• Sometimes, she even feels a little jealusy towards her daughter for the extra attention.
•                 
• She feels she has failed as a mother  and as a wife.

        In the next article, i will be concluding on this topic, i will focus my gaze on the role of a typical father and a typical daughter in an incestuous family. 

INCEST: Definition and type

DEFINITION: According to wikipedia, incest is defined as follows: " Incest is sexual activity between family members or close relatives. This typically includes sexual activity between people in consanguineous relationship and sometimes, those related by affinity such as individuals of same househood,  step relatives, those related by adoption or marriage, or members of the same clan or lineage".  The word is derived from latin word "INCESTUS" {IN +CESTUS}. CESTUS means chaste, otherword, INCESTUS means unchaste, impure, profane. There are different ways in which incest take place in a family settings or between relatives.

             I am going to be giving type of incest based on the assent between the two people involved the incest.

                                TYPE OF INCEST
Consentaneous incest: This is the type of incest in which two people, members of a particular family or relatives willingly engage in sexual activities. In this type of incest, both party consent to it. They could be two teens, One adult and a teen, and two adults. One of them could be seduced, but not forced into having sex with the other person. Consentaneous incests are always secretive. the following are examples of consentaneous incest;

• Matured siblings
• Mother- son
• Uncle- matured niece
• Step father-matured step daughter 
• Between cousins
• Between In-laws

Infact any two family members or relatives who have agreed to take part in sexual activities together.

 
 Dissentaneous incest: This is the type of incest i will be concentrating on, in my subsequent articles about incest. This is a type of incest in which atleast one of the people involved do not consent or unwillingly give in to the sexual activity going on between them. Now, in the case of incest involving an adult and a chilld or unwilling adolescent, then it is called child/adolescent molestation, or simply, child molestation, because it is utterly impossible for a child whose body is not ready for sexual activity to give consent to a violating adult. And in most countries, such act is against the law. The perpetrator of such act is known as the offender and the other person at the receiving end is dub the victim. Since the victim will never agree to the ply of the offender, then the offender will device a means of luring and having sexual activities with the victim, which i will be explaining later in subsequent incest articles. 

             

The victim could be an adult, adolescent, or even a child as young as three years old. Some of the method deviced  by offenders in other to lure their victims into having sex with them is as follows: 

•    Forced sex {e.g rape}
•    Drugged
•    Blackmailing
•    Exposure to adult materials,  incase the victim is a child.

    Like i said previously, i will be concentrating on child/adolescent molestion. I love the definition from the book INCEST AND SEXUALITY,  Quoted as follow: " We define incest as any sexual contact between a child or adolescent and a person who is closely related or perceived to be related including step parents, and live-in partners of parents." I will adopt this definition for the reason of my writing i.e incest involving the molestation of a female child. Most of the report that i had to opportunities to come across,  majority of the victims are female children/ adolescents. The offenders are always older and physically stronger males for example, The fathers,  step fathers, uncles, cousins, step siblings, male in-laws, even grand fathers and male family friends.

          Incest occurs in so many families nowadays, pedophiles are everywhere,  any child is vulnerable, both the male and the female child, though, the female child is badly affected. Engaging a child in sexual activities is like taking away a child from his or her childhood. psychologiclly and physically, a child's body is not prepared for any sexual activities. No child/adolescent will ever willingly give consent give consent to being molested by a selfish adult, especially, the female child, because for the female child/adolescent, sexual activities that involves genital penetration becomes excruciatingly painful. And apart from the pain, it is also accompanies with it, post-traumatic stress disorder, sustaining of injuries, being infected with diseases, unwanted pregnancy, low self esteem etc. 

              Incest cases, a molested female child may wish to disclose this incestuous event that she is experiencing but the fear of being seen as awkward, blamed, and rejected. Especially, when the first person she confided in did not believe in her or showed any positive response in stopping the offender from carry out his dubious act, then the child/adolescent will accept her faith. The child's suffering counld last for as long possible, especially, if the child depend solely on the offender. Effective response is what the child needs. There are situations in which the mother is aware of the girl child being molested but still keeps it a secret or even covers it up to avoid the family from splittng up.The situation can be complicated for the mothers involved, especially, when they are directly dependent on the offender {mostly fathers or step fathers}.But think about child/adolescent who is suffering  physically, emotionall and psychologically. Think about what they will become in the future. Such mother is destroying the life of a child she ought to be nurturing, especially when the offender is unrepentant. 

          Please join hand with me,  together, we can protect these beautiful, adorable, innocent young ones from being violated. There are many monsters {pedophiles} around these days. If YOU, i mean you reading this article right now, comes across any incident of a child/adolescent being sexually abused, please take a positive action to make sure that the abuse is stopped. Let us rise against this menace that is demoralizing our society. Both the offender and the victim need help. 

            In the next article, i am going to write on incestuous family, and the roles of each members in an incestuous family.

INCEST: Introduction

CHILD/ADOLESCENT'S SEXUAL ABUSE
Abuse means being perverted, wrongly used of something. Abuse can be in various ways. there are sexual abuse, psychological abuse, drug abuse, anything at all that is given to be misused. Here, i will be discussing sexual abuse because it is becoming a problem in this modern world of ours. Hardly, do you read or listen to the news daily, without a report reaching you about a child/adolescent being violated sexually. It is happening at an alarming rate nowjadays. The female child is always most affected. Am not saying that male children are not molested too but the female children are most affected psychologically and the emotional stress that accompanies female child molestion. Majority of child/adolescent sexual abusive cases are always left unreported. 

             Our culture does not help matter in this issue at all. A culture that sees the inequality between the male and female child will continue to experience this problem that is eating deep into our society at an alarming rate. During the developmental years, male and female children/adolescent are taught stereotyped sex roles that set the stage for how sexual activity should take place. Males are often taught that being unfeeling, uncommunicative and sexually demanding is part of being masculine. Sexual activities becomes an opportunity to gain peer status and show conquering abilities rather than to related meaningfully to another person. A Female child, culturally socialise to seek approval from others by being passive, adaptive and physically attractive. They are taught to downplay their intelligence and assertiveness for fear of being seen as unfeminine. Thus, girls learn to exploit themselves sexually toward a nonsensual goal. Little cultural recognition is given to the healthy expression of female sexual feeling, instead, sexual directiveness in young women is considered abnormal. It appears that the society has been grooming boys to be sexually exploitive, and girls to be sexually victimized.

           I am using this opportunity to call on parents. Parents  ought to be vigilant especially when it comes to being protective of their female children who seems to be more vulnerable than their male counterpart. Parents need to inculcate into their children sexual relating matters. Sex should be taught and portrayed in a different way. It would be very helpful to the society if we begin teaching sexual relating issues as serious activity that can be approached with personal integrity, a willingness to assume responsibility. If sexual lessons are to be undertaken responsibly, with accurate information and healthy sex role models, negative repercussions could reduced.

           In today's world, molestation is becoming a very big problem. Children are being engaged in a wrong type of relationship which leaves a deep ingrained effect on these young ones. It could even last a lifetime effect. Please do not think that it is none of your business, because as a parent, you might not know if your beloved kid is being violated by a close related adult, an offender. The offender of a female child could be a cousin, an uncle, an father, step father, next door neighbour, family male friend, grand father, neighbours, any adult male etc.
   
           In subsequent articles, i will be concentrating more on the female children because they are more vulnerable and when sexual abused always have longer lasting emotional effect on the female child compared to a male child. The male children/adolescents are also molested on a daily basis but for a female child/adolescent, it is always accompanied with excruciating pain, traumatic stress, infections, emotional breakdown, teen's pregnancy etc.

          Sexual abuse has finally been recognised as a major problem in the society. Public awareness and education about childhood/teendom sexual abuse must be one of the primary goal of a sane society.

           Incest is the most common form of sexual abuse. Incest between an adult and a person under the age of consent is considered a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme foms of childhood abuse. It often results in serious and long term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.

             I call upon mothers to be vigilant and to pay close attention to their children, most especially the female children, becoming close to them, opening a channel of communication between you and your female child is very  important. Gone are those days when parents shy away from sexually related topics with their children. sex topic ought to be inculcated in the minds of this little ones. teach them how to react when someone plays with them sexually. 

            Many benefits can be derived from addressing the relationship between incest and sexuality. As a society, we can become more informed about the real damage that occurs. Our motivation to combat child sexual abuse can be strengthened. Parents can recognise signs of abuse earlier and more outspoken role in protecting their children. Sexual offenders can be directly challenged without intimidation. An incest that is a sexual abuse can go on for quite a long time undetected. In such instance, you can imagine the pain and traumatic stress this victim children experiences every single day as this incestuous activity keeps on occuring on a regular basis. She might not be your child, she could be the girl next door, Your friend's daughter etc. Join me to save these children/adolescents today. Let heal the world and make it a better place.

         In the next article i will giving you the full details about incest; Defination  and type of incest.

DO PLANTS HAVE SOULS?

Plants are magnificent creatures, apart from human beings and animals. Plants are the other physical living things that exist on this Gross material world. Plants have already been here on earth before the emergence of animals, and the arrival of man. Plants here, am including the green plants, fungi, red and brown algea. Every other form of life on earth are dependent on these creatures directly or indirectly.

             Plants are creatures that are so common that we always underestimate their values in our lives. the truth is that we cannot do without these lovely, beautiful creatures. The order of this physical world make us rely heavily on plants. The physical body of man is part of mature, so it is of no different from that of all other developed animals like apes when it comes its physical needs. So you have no choice but depend on plants whether you like it or not.

               Plants were here on earth even before the emergence of animals and man being the late comer to these earth is been mandated to take control and subdue both the plant and animals. Plants are living things just like man and animals, its amazing to realise that the feed, breathe, grows, reproduces in their own ways and so on. But in all, they are meant for the survival of man and animals. I am using the phrase man and animals in the sense that man is of a different origin from animals. The former is from the Spiritual realm of Creation while the later is from the Animistic ring of Creation. But in reality on this Gross material World, the physical body of man is not different from those of animals in the sense that they both issued from this Gross material World. Everything in this Material world is in cycle, which applies to life on earth too. Everything in this Gross Material world is meant to be born, undergo some form development, grow old and be born again in a grand version. Our dear Earth, being a part of this Gross Material world is susceptible to this cycle of change too. There was a time this Earth was formed, it is in its certain stage of development and it will grow old and die (disintegrate). the same applies to man, animal and plants on Earth. That is why we are mortals. Our physical body is a mere flesh, that will be left behind.

                 Now, the question is, if Man originates from the Spiritual, the animals from the Animistic, where do plants originates from? Hmmmm good question, exactly how someone asked me on whatsapp. 

                 Unlike Man and animals, plants do not have souls, but they are found in almost all the planes, realms in Creation. They serve different purposes in different planes in Creation. I would have loved to write about one of the purpose of plants in the Ethereal world but i do not intend to bore you with much story in this article. I want to limit my writing of this purposes to the physical world alone.

                 Plants are magnificent creatures that their great importance are always underestimated in our lives. Yet, we can hardly do without them. The truth is that plants are there in order for us to survive on Earth. They are there for the purpose of Man and animals directly or indirectly. 

         Permit me to write a little about some of the the importance of plants to Man. They are as follows:

  FOR FOOD:
 Man derives his food from plants. All the food that man consume are directly or indirectly dependable on plants. Plants comtains all the nutrients that the physical bodies of man and animal needs in order to live a healthy and balance life on Earth. Different plant's species have been used by man as food and more are yet to be discovered. 

ATMOSPHERIC PURIFICATION:  
    Plants are very important in this aspect that without the plants, the earth would have become very hot to live. They also help in regulating air componenent by absorbing carbondioxide and using it for its own metabolism and by end product, oxygen  which man and animals need in order to survive. Most of the oxygen gas molecules present in the air, consumed by both man and animals are produced by plants. Trees can absorb odors and pollutant gases through their bark. It is a pity that man who is mandated to dominate and subdue creation is the one interfering with the order of nature by cutting down trees without planting any replacement , by doing so, man causes a great disturbance to mother nature. Please think twice before bringing down that trees.

MEDICINE:  
   Plants can also serve as medicine when the physical body of both man and animals are in a bad  state of health, the plants will still come to the rescue. Drugs are derived directly or indirectly from plants. There are those that are gifted with the ability to choose herbs for any kind of illness. That weed, flowers, tree bark, grasses that you always ignore on a daily bases could be medicinal, you never can tell. 

            The three importance of plants listed above are inevitable for the survival of man and animals on earth. Although, there are numerous importance that are even beyond the knowledge of man. When it comes to beautification, plants are there. Shelter and habitat; they are there. 
   
             Like every other parts of nature, plants are taken care of by animistic beings put in charge of nature and its elements.
            

TRIUNE GOD

In the last article, you were made to understand that there is but one God, but one power, The Father of All! What then is Trinity? God the Father, God the Son and the Holy Spirit! Have you ever pondered about this conception before? How can there be One God and at the same time THREE IN ONE? Humanly, it is impossible right? So find a place and relax, as i take you closer to the truth in the next paragraghs of this article.

           When mankind shut themselves out of paradise by not heeding the guidance of the intuitive perception any longer, which is spiritual and therefore, near to God, but freely choose to cultivate the intellect, subjecting themselves to it and thus becoming slaves of the tool given them to use, they naturally further and further away from God. The cleavage occurred when humanity gave preference to worldly matters, which are unconditionally bounded to space and time.This is alien to the nature of God and therefore makes it impossible to comprehend HIM.

             The gulf became wider with each generation, and men chained themselves more and more exclusively to this earth. They became earthbound intellectually. As man becomes more more materialistic everyday, he firmly bound himself to space and time, it was naturally that their horizon simultaneously became narrowed. Man could no longer understand the spiritual things any more. Even the religious leaders of those days could not recognise the Divine message brought by Jesus to humanity, because they were highly materialistic. And today, it is even worse. So, be careful, who you imitate!

             Man became so materialistic and subjected himself to the rule of the intellect, that he could no longer perceive anything spiritual any more. Even the Prophets sent by God were not heeded to any more.

             The question is, how can man find the connection with the Spiritual again? With his Creator again? It was utterly impossible unless help comes from HIM alone.

            God in His Purity could no longer reveal HIMSELF to the debased intellectual human beings, because they were no longer capable of sensing, seeing or hearing His Messengers again.

             For this reason, God in His Love, through an Act of His Will, severed a Part of HIMSELF and incarnated it in flesh and blood, in a physical body of a male sex- Jesus of Nazareth, Who thus became the incarnate Word, the incarnate Love of God, the Son of God.

                Now, prior to the coming of our Lord Jesus, there had been the FATHER and the Holy Spirit. Creation had to come into existence through the Creative Will of God the FATHER! As such the Creative Will of God the FATHER is the HOLY SPIRIT,  Who is personal in His creating and yet stands or remains completely in the FATHER and the FATHER is within Him as He creates. Everything in Creation is created by the Creative Will of God. The HOLY SPIRIT is also a Son of God, because He is a Part of the FATHER also.

                 Just as the Creative Will of God is personal, so also the Love of God became personal in activity in Jesus. Both being a Parts of the FATHER are one with Him, and the FATHER is within them.

              Let me use this opportunity to explain the term  "Son". I was chatting with my beloved friend, a muslim, then i told him that Jesus is the Son of God! Then he asked a very important question, i quote: "Who is the Divine mother of Jesus, if the Father is God? That is the problem, man always think of the term "Son" in the human way, like a son in a human family.

              For the Divine "Son" mean a "Part" of the FATHER that works specially by ITSELF. Son and FATHER are completely one and can never be seperated! Therefore, never in any case think about the Divine Son according to the human way, for that would be certain to give an absolutely false picture. It would lead you to errors in conception that would completely eliminate the actual facts and would consequently never let you come nearer to the truth!

               Perhaps, one should rather say: It is only God the FATHER, HE works threefold as one! Whatever God the Son works, that He works out of the FATHER, in the FATHER, for the FATHER! He would be nothing without the FATHER; For He is Part of the FATHER and the FATHER Himself is within Him and works in Him. The FATHER does not perchance work out of the Son, thus, not through Him, but in Him! Herein lies the mystery for the human conception because it cannot be described in earthly words.

                In the human family, the son is by himself and the father is by himself, they are and remain two. At the utmost, they can become united in their working, but never one! It is different with the expression God the Son! Just the opposite! God the FATHER and God the Son are one and can only be considered as two in their working, as also the two Sons of God, Jesus and the HOLY SPIRIT are one with the FATHER only in their working two. 

                 Both Sons of God remains closely connected with the FATHER and one with HIM. As Jesus is of the FATHER, so also is the HOLY SPIRIT. Both are Parts of Him. They are like the arms of a human body which can act independently, but still belong to the body, if they are to be complete. Yet they can only carry out independent actions as parts of the whole.

                  Such is God in His omnipotence and wisdom! At His right hand as part of Himself, is God the Son, Love and His left is God the "HOLY  SPIRIT", Justice. They have both emanated from God the FATHER and belong to Him in unity. This is the Trinity of the one God.

                  Before Creation came into existence, God was one! During the process of creating, He severed a part of His WILL to work independently in Creation and thus, became two fold. When later it became necessary to provide a mediator for erring mankind, because the purity of God did not permit a direct connection to self-enchained humanity, out of His love, He severed a part of Himself to act as a temporary bridge in order to make Himself once more understood. Thus, with the birth of Christ, God became a Trinity.

                   If you really want to learn more about God the FATHER, learn from His incarnate Word! The message that He brought this earth and the Prophets too. Do not be only the hearer of this Messages, but you must also apply them in your daily activities.

THE LORD THY GOD IS ONE

   

The conception of trinity as always been a topic debated by so many believers. Alot of so called believers cannot comprehend the concept of Trinity. And most never bother to exert themselve in this conception. Some even believe that it is a sin to enquire more about God! Please, my dear esteemed reader, do not believe religiously, anything thrown at you. Let such concept be scrutinise by you and when the spirit within you decline such a conception, then the conception is wrong. There are certain things that you will be told that defiles logic. There are lots of people out there whose aim is to mislead you and make you take the wrong path. Our Lord Jesus warned us about the end time. 

         When you do not understand a concept, please always endeavor to ask question and do not believe it religiously! The spirit will always discern the truth from false teachings. In most cases, man do not listen to his spirit! If you are spiritually alert, there are lots of dangers that you can avert yourself from. If you earnestly seek the truth, you will surely find it. Become the KNOWING, become enlightened. If your inner man does not accept anything, do not believe it religiously!

         In the scripture, it is said that there is one God! Yes that is true. the question is, how does the concept of trinity came about, if there is only ONE GOD? How does ONE GOD becomes God the Father, God the Son and The Holy Spirit?

           In this article, i want to throw a little light on the ONE TRUE GOD and in the next article, i will explain the TRIUNE GOD.

          The truth is there is only one God! One LIFE! The I AM! The ALPHA AND OMEGA! Behind HIM there is none! Only ONE GOD! HE shares HIS GLORY WITH NONE! HE alone is the source of ALL LIFE both in the Divine and Creation. No creature can see GOd in HIS unsubstantiated form. In most case, we always picture God to be a white beard male spirit sitting in his throne in heaven. I want to make clear to you that God is not a spiritual being like us. HE is far more greater. HE is neither male nor female. HE is the FATHER OF ALL! Both in the Divine and Creation. Without God there is no EXISTENCE! Everything that Exist, vibrates in this ONE Great FATHER OF ALL! Do not let anyone deceive you, there is only ONE GOD!

           Our lord Jesus was very clear on this issue of ONE GOD He said: "The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord thy God is one Lord". This statement is so important that your Existence is dependence on it. Learn from our Lord Jesus, when He prayed, He always direct His prayers to this One true God. He always pray in seclusion and He prayed like a jew. Whatsoever, religion you find yourselve, always direct your worship to the ONE TRUE GOD. You must love your God with all your heart! With all your might! With all your strength! With your life!

            Man can only kill the physical body, but God can destroy both the physical body, the other bodies and the spirit too. HE alone can erase you out of  the BOOK OF LIFE! HE alone must you fear! HE alone must you serve! Your Creator alone deserves your worship, no one else.

             How do you fear and love God with all your heart?  The only way to fear your God is by abiding in Him, by keeping the laws that He has put in place, that pulsate throughout Creation. He gave the jews the Ten Commandments for the benefit of humanity. Our Lord Jesus emphasised is teachings based on these laws, He could not have done otherwise. He is the love of God. In the old testament, the Holy Spirit, the Justice of God was in charge. Justice and Love are inseperable. Wherever there is Justice, you will always find love! So Jesus did not come to do away with the Ten Commandments, and other laws given by the Justice of God. I am not talking about the jewish traditions here, only the Laws from God and not ones from Moses.

             If truly you love your God, you will never use the name of God in vain. If you truly you love unconditionally, you will never murder. If you truly love your neighbour, you will never steal from them. If you love your physical body, you will not engage it in a degrading and ignoble physical activities. Love is all you need in order for you to return back to paradise.  Love for humanity, love for Creation. "Love is all you need" Be the light of this physical world. Let your light shine before all men!

              There is but One God! but One power! But One LIFE! God is ALL. The first commandment is so important that it must be adhered to  with utmost urgency and strictness. It is your duty as a creature to worship and thank your Creator for the opportunity to exist. You should always endeavor to draw close to God, that is an act of humility. You can only know God when you strive to approach HIM and not you expecting God to approach, HIS creature, which is impossible. "THE LORD THY GOD IS ONE".

            

PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING

The importance of prayer cannot be overemphasised in the life of man. Prayer is so important that, our Lord Jesus had to teach us how to pray. The lord's prayer was not meant to be prayed all at once. Actually, the Lord's prayer is divided into three parts and i will explain each part for you in the nearest future. In your quiet time moment, try as much as possible with an ernest volition, meditates on the Lord's Prayer. It contains the foundation for everything you need for your physical well-being and spiritual ascent. The Lord's Prayer even give much more! It also indicates the path which you should strive to follow during your life existence on earth. The lord's Prayer alone provides everything for you if you penetrate into it deeply and grasp it aright.

          Man needs nothing more than the Lord's Prayer! It shows him the whole gospel in concentrated form. It is the key to the Luminous Heights for him who knows how to experience it rightly. It can be both staff and torch for the advancement and ascent of everyone! What it contains is absolutely immeasurable! The Lord's Prayer is a masterpiece in itself.

          In the Lord's Prayer, our Lord Jesus gave humanity the key to the Kingdom of God! It was not meant to be rattled straight off! 

           For now, in this article, i want to talk about a type of prayer. I will give you full detail of the Lord's Prayer  later. 

            Do you know that there are different type of prayers? I want to throw a little light on Prayer for Thanksgiving. 

             Man , ordinarily, never bothers himself to pray a prayer of thanksgiving to his Creator, unless he undergo a discomforted situation. A happy soul will always give gratitude to his God no matter the situation he finds him/herself. There are so many reasons why you must thank God. Firstly, God is your Creator. Every creature in creation and the Divine must humble itself before his God. God is the source of all Life, without the Creator, you fail to exist in creation. God alone is the source of all driving forces. The Mightiness of God is so unimaginable to man. All powers emanate from only one source, that is God. He alone is worthy of all praise. 

              There is a popular believe, and majority of humanity holds that believe that there are two  type of powers: The good and the evil power. Well let me use this opportunity to explain something here. To clarify this issue, like i said before, there is only one source of all driving force which is God. Lucifer being one of the archangel was handed a responsibility. A responsibility to see to it that the journey of the Spirit-germ wandering through creation and there returning to paradise is made quiet easy. Now, for that purpose, power was allotted to Lucifer. A scepter or a key symbolises the power given to Lucifer. Instead for Lucifer to use the power for the purpose it was meant for, rather, He used it contrary to that same purpose it was meant for. He used this powers to mislead man and thereby making the path to paradise difficult for man.

                The Key or the Scepter will be wrestled off Lucifer by a stronger and more powerful  Being at the appointed time. I am not suppose to write about Lucifer in this article, but the point i want to make clear is that there is only one power source, and that is God. Just because Lucifer used the power given to Him for evil, does not mean that the power is evil. At the appointed time, that same power in the hand of the Son of Man, will be used for the benefit of mankind during the millennial period of grace and mercy bestowed upon mankind.

                 So i want you to erase that mentality of Good and Evil powers competing each other. If God has a competitor, then He is not God.

                 God alone is the only creator, and He is One. One Whole! Every other thing vibrates in Him. Besides Him, there is None! Just take a moment and think about it yourself. God is the originator of All, Lucifer is though, a Divine being, He is still a creature of God Almighty. A creature can never be as powerful as is his Creator. The Creator can exist without Its creature, but a creature cannot exist without its Creator. 

                  When you give thanks to your Creator, it shows that you appreciate the Greatness of your Mighty God. And its another way of showing that you Love your God with all your heart, no matter what situation you find yourself. Atleast, thank God for your existence in creation. Let your gratitude be known to God in humility and purity.

                  Man seldom offer prayer of thanksgiving, unless exceptionally, when he unexpectedly receives a very special earthly gift or when he is suddenly rescued from a great danger. Unexpectedness and suddenness are necessary before he will arouse himself to utter a prayer of thanksgiving.  If he and all his loved ones are always blessed with good health and if he has no material cares, he will hardly bring himself to utter an earnest prayer of thanksgiving.

                Prayer of Thanksgiving is a worship to your God. It is so important in the life of a believer! It shows that you love the Lord, your God with all your heart, your soul, and spirit. It shows that you acknowledge the Mightiness of the Most High God. Our lord Jesus gave us an example, when He showed us how to pray, quote: "OUR FATHER, WHICH ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY NAME". He Started the Lord's Prayer with the acknowledgement of the Greatness of God.

                So, I want to direct this question to you! When was the last time you genuinely and earnestly gave thanks to God? or are you waiting for something spectacular to happen before you know that the life you live is not yours without your  Creator! You need to thank Him for the Love and Mercy He has showed. Thank Him for your existence here on earth.

GIFTED

"Gifted" is what every human being is endowed with. Your gift always manifest itself in what thing you are very passionate about. It could be a profession, an artistic or inartistic activities. It could be that your passion is to render services, or trading of commodities. As a human being, you have been endowed with a gift, with which you will be able to establish yourself here on this Gross Material World. Now, it is your duty to discover for yourself what you are gifted with. It is possible for one person to be gifted in many ways. So, should i say "discover your gifts"?

      Just like i said in one of my previous article, that you need to look inwardly, and allow the real you to take over.The Spirit is the real you, this your physical body that you can touch is just a tool with which to interact in this physical world. Immediately the intellect is subdued, the Spirit takes control. The Spirit man knows what it wants, He knows the direction to take. Your Spirit man will tell you what to do, then a passion will arises within you. It could be to solve a problem that has been bothering your fellow man on earth. The passion will always be for the benefit of humanity as a whole. Put your passion into a physical activities, and be consistent and persistent in such an activity. use your intellect in your daily activities and not the intellect controlling you. If you develop in you a passion, and you discover that when it is put into a physical activities, people will get hurt, Please, i beg you, refrain from such activities, it is not of benefit to humanity, such passions are not from from the Spirit. That is your intellect influenced by darkness.

           For some, their gift can be exhibited without training and developing it. while others might need to nurture and develop your gift. But firstly, you must be passionate about that thing you want to nurture and develop. Your gift will always open doors for you and it can also become a means to an end. Do not follow what is trending, Just because some made it there, does not mean everyone should follow in that direction, thereby leaving behind your own inward urge towards your own direction. You are suppose to experience this physical world your own way. Not like someone else. your experiencing is unique and beneficial to you and you alone. You must not try to be like others but yourself. If your passion is farming, trust me, you will be sucessful in that area if you are determine. afterall, there are farmers that are more successful than some doctors. being successful is not all about money.

              Nowadays, majority of humanity has allowed their intellect to take the front lead. Thereby, not giving the Spirit man the free will to operates. Majority of man today, slumbers spiritually. Whatever gift you possess, create a value for it. You could also be endowed with virtuous gifts such Leadership, being courageous etc. In most cases, virtuous giftd can be developed by individuals. 

          Parents please do not impose any profession contrary to the will of your child. Let the Spirit man in them finds its way through its existence here on earth.

           Now, there are individuals with special gifts. This chosen individuals have the abilities to do things that others, ordinarily, cannot do. This individuals have been specially gifted for the benefit of humanity. For one individual, it could be the gift of clairvoyance. For another, the gift of healing. Another, telepathy. Yet another, prophesy and many more, like premonition, dream interpretation, extreme courageousness etc. Some are endowed with special gifts but are not aware of it. These individuals with special gifts are few and scattered all over every race, religion, regions etc. They are specially gifted, but they are human beings like any other human being, so they are not to be adored nor worshipped. They are nowhere near the Messengers that were sent by the Creator. these Messengers are the prophets. Examples are Lord Jesus Christ, Gautama Budda {born as Prince siddhartha}, Zoroaster and the last but not the least of all the Messengers is Prophet Mohammed{SAW}. The Prophets came with messages that can liberate humanity from darkness to the luminous light, your Spiritual home, if only you can yield yourself to their teaching and the messages that they came with. I do not intend writing about the Messengers in this article.

           Just because these few individuals are endowed with a special gift, people always expect them to place these gifts at their disposal free of cost. These specially gifted persons however, should themselves first learn to master this gift, then set a value on these gifts, so that they do not continually cast pearls before swine!

            Everyone is gifted! Each and every person is endowed with a gift or two. Be it an intellectual, virtuous or a special gift. Your gift will uplift you spiritually, when you use it to the benefit of humanity. Let the Will of God prevail in your life, then your gift will find its way to become recognised. Just look deep inside of you, there is a unique gift deposited inside you. Look deep and discover for yourself what you are gifted with. "A man's gift maketh room for him and bringeth him before great men{Proverb 18:16}.

            Majority are intellectually gifted, only few are specially gifted. Let people'life be touch with your gift, even if they are to pay for such services.